Last night Lexie and I visited the venue of tonight's BIG SHOW (all caps that means it's very important). This is one swanky joint and we tested out the video feed with some limited success. The cam works and the connection works but Lexie was having trouble setting up the account to stream the video. She does have an account of her own but was trying to set up a “2 big 4 the Internet” account. Because that would be wicked cool, and because she could not remember log on info for her own account. I'm sure she has it around here somewhere.
Did I mention this place is really swanky? It's got a full LED computerized light show, and tons of chairs to fill with people to see the show. I think this chair thing is going to catch on. I don't know about you but I never stand when I can sit, and I never sit when I can lay down. In case you are wondering there is no room in the audience to lay down, but that is due to the multitude of chairs.
I was very impressed with “The Green Room”. Curiously enough it wasn't green at all. Maybe I was in the wrong room. This allegedly green room features the first mirror I don't have to bend down to see my face in. I was surprised to learn how tall I actually am, and it seems I'm not hunchbacked at all.
After checking out the swanky concert site. Did I mention it's swanky? Really when we do the show check out the video you'll be sitting in front of your computer saying, “KATEJUPITAR !!!!!! THAT IS REALLY SWANKY!!!!” Anyway, after poking about the opulent and... swanky concert site we went downstairs.
Now, the show... the REALLY BIG SHOW, is being held at “Club Risque upstairs”. While the club downstairs is not called “Club Risque downstairs”, it is called “Club Risque” and it is in fact downstairs from “Club Risque upstairs”
Do you follow me?
Anyway.... we go downstairs and it seems “Club Risque” is a “Gentleman's club”. I pause at the door for a moment wondering if I'm enough of a Gentleman to be permitted past the red velvet rope.
Hey, I was surprised when they let me in too.
While there were quite a few Gentlemen in attendance there were also a goodly number of Ladies about. Back in the day, we use to call them strippers, but now they are ladies and the guys that gawk at them are called Gentlemen. What a brave new world we are living in. Just hand me a rocket pack and a jive talking robot butler and I'll pop open a can of Jetson's on ya.
I've just gotta say it, there were bewbies as far as the eye can see, and for the record I have two eyes and both of them were seeing bewbies. (note bewbies is the new wicked cool way of spelling boobies)
Now as much as I like bewbies... and I really do like them more then anybody should, there was a buffet as well. I got a real free hot meal, and I was awash in a veritable sea of bewbies. Free food, bewbies... does it get any better then that?
Yes it does, because it's good to be me.
Lexie seems to know everybody at the club because her brother is a DJ there. And she introduces me to the fellow she is old friends with. His name is Kevin, and Kevin starts buying me drinks. Lots and lots of drinks. Then Kevin lays a stack of one dollar bills on the counter and suggest tipping the ladies with them.
No, I'm not making this up.
Now those of you that know me well, know I'm a lazy bastard. If there is drinking to do, and somebody else is paying, I'm a very busy man and can't be sticking dollar bills between ladies bewbies. So Lexie did it for me. She always has my back, and watching her tip the ladies was remarkably akin to hot girl on girl action.
Lexie also told all the ladies I was a rock star. And it seems I act just weird enough to make it seem plausable.
Just when I was about to push a cot under the Guiness tap and move in, Lexie reminded me I had a show to play and we had to be going. A lesser man would have cried, but stoically soldered on. RAWKING the grid is my mission, my calling.
Okay, I wasn't drunk. I was just half way between happy and scrappy. But I honestly don't remember the show we played last night. But I did wake up... on the floor, and Lexie had the featured photo as her desktop wallpaper.
Tonight is going to be EPIC. Log on check it out. Or if you are any where near Philly, get your narrow ass down to “Club Risque Upstairs” and help us FIGHT AUTISM with the power of RAWK!!!!